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1818 Westlake Avenue North
Seattle, WA, 98109
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206-949-6150

This is the homepage of Staci Sprout. Staci is a licensed psychotherapist, author, publisher, and promoter of high candor stories of overcoming adversity. This site serves as a portal to her therapy practice r.evolution psychotherapy, her memoir Naked In Public: A Memoir of Recovery From Sex Addiction and Other Temporary Insanities, and her publishing and promotion company Recontext Media.

AM I ADDICTED TO PORN? A 20 QUESTION SELF-HELP TEST FOR WOMEN

Am I Addicted to Porn? A 20 Question Self-Help Test for Women

by Staci Sprout, LICSW, CSAT

As a sex addiction specialty psychotherapist, I’ve been working with women since 2006 to support them deal with problems with relationships, sexuality and pornography. I’ve also researched hundreds of additional case studies, mostly from women under age 30 describing the negative effects related to their porn use. These are the top 20 most common frequently cited symptoms from women. Take the test and an honest look at your results, preferably talking them over with someone that you trust.

 

Am I Addicted to Porn? A 20 Question Self-Help Test for Women - Answer Yes or No

 

  1. I am not as or not at all attracted to real partners or find a to partner – I choose porn instead, and stay isolated.

  2. I don’t enjoy sex without pornography – in person sex is boring.

  3. I’m using more disturbing, violent pornography that is outside my value system – but I use it anyway.

  4. I’m desensitized – I seek more and more stimulation, more extreme input, and constant novelty in porn.

  5. I’ve lost sensitivity in my genitals during sex – I have less feeling, less pleasure – pleasure comes more from a “mental push” or fantasy, rather than connection and touch, real-time.

  6. I use a vibrator or other sex toys too much, causing problems.

  7. I have “Premature Orgasms” – orgasms that happen because of mental desire, but no significant physical arousal; a fast orgasm that feels premature – my physical excitation is low and the quality of my orgasm is mediocre; it’s a physical release that doesn’t feel great – just a body-reflex orgasm rather than something building more gradually.

  8. I feel insecure and competitive with women or couples I see in porn, and have changed my appearance to fit the “standards” of porn (e.g., anal bleaching, waxing, labial surgery, breast surgery, etc.). Or, I am obsessing about doing this.

  9. I’m dependent on porn use to relax, get sleep every night, get up every day deal with stress.

  10. I over-focus on sex, and don’t have the urge for non-erotic touch, cuddling and closeness.

  11. I’ve absorbed extreme sexual fantasies from the outside in, based on pornography, and then look for this in real life to act it out.

  12. I have flashbacks during sex of porn images that intrudes on my ability to be present to a partner.

  13. I can’t be present mentally, concentrate, or focus in everyday life due to fantasies from porn.

  14. I see men and/or other women in life as sex objects (like porn images); I don’t enjoy their real beauty and complexity as individuals.

  15. I binge on porn, and it interferes with my health, time, relationships, social life, school/work, or other important areas of life.

  16. I feel irritable when I can’t get porn or feel separated from my “source” of porn (like phone, tablet, laptop, etc.).

  17. I feel pressured by porn to try sexual behaviors that are uncomfortable, against my values, or cause injury – or pressured by porn-influenced male or female partners.

  18. I act fake during sex; pretending to be like a porn performer during sex as opposed to being myself. I don’t know how to act during sex except what I’ve seen in porn.

  19. I feel shame yet continue to use porn, or porn-influenced sexual behaviors.

  20. I have tried to stop using porn but I can’t.

If you’re having these painful symptoms, stop using porn and see if you feel better! You can also complete the “Pornography Assessment” on my colleague Dr. Christiana Bell’s website (along with lots of other great resources), here: http://www.christinabell.net/downloads/.

If you need more support, check out this information related to porn problems in women:

 

Porn Problems: Here Come the Women on YourBrainOnPorn

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-problems-here-come-women

 

YourBrainOnPorn – Research on Porn and Females

https://yourbrainonporn.com/porn-studies-involving-female-subjects-negative-effects-arousal-sexual-satisfaction-and

 

Reddit/NoFap for Women:

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/search?q=Femstronauts&restrict_sr=1&sort=new

 

Christian Women and Porn Addiction 2014 Survey

http://dirtygirlsministries.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Infographic-20141.pdf

 

Covenant Eyes: Resources for Women Who Struggle with Porn

http://www.covenanteyes.com/2014/06/30/resources-women-struggle-porn/

 

If you try to stop using pornography and you cannot, and fear you have developed a porn addiction, here is my definition:

Porn addiction is a neurological-biological-social learning process with a toxic experience that, when engaged, offers distraction, pleasure, and/or pain relief for the addict. Addiction can be looked at as a four-part cycle that typically starts with distorted thoughts/obsessions, ramp-up or ritual actions, the addictive act itself, and the aftermath, which may be shame, regret, swearing off the behavior, and/or right back to anxiety and cravings for more.

However, it comes with painful costs, primarily:

•       loss of control over the porn use,

•       repeated failed attempts to stop using porn, or modify your use

•       Development of "tolerance" aka diminishing positive returns, which can lead to escalation of what kind of porn you use or the extent of time you use it, or risk, and

•       negative life consequences brought on by the porn use, including:

•       Personal distress

•       Relationship problems with significant others

•       Problems with family or friends distress

•       Problems with your job, school, or other areas

•       Health risks as a result of porn use, like loss of healthy emotional and sexual functioning – we see this a lot with porn causing sexual and emotional desensitization; self-harm or engaging abusive relationships that involve coercion, rape or other violence; and the threat of disease transmission

•       Increased feelings of loneliness

Other considerations for addiction include:

·      Secrecy – do you live a double life with porn which leaves you feeling isolated and alone?

·      Do you compromise of your values – by doing things that go against what you know is right for you, but can’t stop?

·      Do you feel shame about what you’re doing, which leads to hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, or attempts?

Resources treatment for porn addiction in women can be found at

http://www.stacisprout.com/womens-sex-love-addiction-inpatient-and-intensive-programs/

 

or find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in your area by searching at https://www.iitap.com/therapists-search/

 

You might find these videos of women finding success in recovery from their sex, love and porn addiction problems helpful:

 

“Female Faces of Sex Addiction Recovery” on Sex Addiction in the News YouTube show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIOb0fXUIg4&t=374s

 

Women's Sex and Love Addiction Recovery with Lacy Alajna Bentley 5.25.18:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFYnDORw5DE&t=2s&list=PLqFiKeREBgicMQHQhpnpUQTXSBgI5mphY&index=15

 

Porn problems are very normal for women. Some reach the level of porn addiction. Some research had suggested as many as 17 per cent of women describe themselves as "addicted" to online porn. And some research shows it is much higher! But even suffering from porn addiction does not have to be life sentence. If you are having any symptoms of pornography addiction, please reach out for help now. You are not alone, and help is available!