Best Resources for Women in Relationship and Sexual Recovery
Where to start on the educational path to recovery? Here is my collection of great online resources, books, personal recovery stories/memoirs and more related to women and love, sex and relationship healing!
Best Book reading list/Resource List for Women Healing from Love, Sex and Relationship Addiction
Created in gratitude, 2018, by Staci Sprout, MSW
Here is a list of resources I’ve collected, with additions suggested by other professionals who treat women healing from love, sex, and relationship addiction. Don't worry about reading everything at once, just see what attracts you on this list and get started expanding your library and your knowledge at your own pace! And - if I've left out your favorites, please email me your suggestions – I'm always learning! :-)
Recovery Podcast List (for Women and Men)
Books on Love Addiction and Intimacy Recovery
Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships by Kelly McDaniel
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addiction by Marnie C. Ferree (TEXTBOOK)
Women, Sex and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power by Charlotte S. Kasl, PhD
Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power for to Change the Way You Love by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller
Lesbian Love Addiction: Understanding the Urge to Merge and How to Heal When Things Go Wrong by Lauren D. Costine, PhD
Is It Love or Is It Addiction: The Book that changed the way we think about romance and intimacy by Brenda Schaeffer, D.Min, MA, LP, CAS
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous by The Augustine Fellowship/SLAA
Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody
Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants by Susan Peabody
Overcoming Love Addiction: Your Recovery Roadmap by Lacy Alajna Bentley (kindle)
The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick Carnes, PhD
Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest by Ken Adams, PhD and Patrick Carnes, PhD
The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life by Dr. Patricia Love
Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the "Love" Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationship by Anne Wilson Schaef
Leaving the Enchanted Forest: The Path from Relationship Addiction to Intimacy by Stephanie Covington and Liana Beckett
Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change by Robin Norwood
Love and Addiction by Stanton Peele and Archie Broadsky
Breaking Free: A Recovery Handbook for Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody with Andrea Wells Miller
Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller
Untangling Relationships: A Christian's Perspective on Codependency by Pat Springle
The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us by Ross Rosenberg
The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love by Pia Mellody and Lawrence S. Freundlich
Books on Sex Addiction Recovery
Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan by Alexandra Katehakis
Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence by Alex Katehakis
No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction by Marnie C. Ferree
Sex Addicts Anonymous [3rd ed] by Fellowship SAA
Pure Desire for Women Eight Pillars to Freedom from Love Addiction & Sexual Issues by Diane Roberts, Workbooks 1 & 2
She Has a Secret by Douglas Weiss, PhD - 24 recovering Christian female sex addicts share their stories
Secret Solutions Workbook: More Than 100 Ways to End the Secret by Doug Weiss, PhD
Facing the Shadow [Workbook, 3rd Ed.]: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery by Patrick Carnes
Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment by Alexandra Katehakis (TEXTBOOK)
Your Brain On Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction by Gary Wilson
The Storm of Sex Addiction by Connie A. Lofgreen, MSW, CSAT
Clinical Management of Sex Addiction by Patrick Carnes and Kenneth M. Adams (TEXTBOOK)
Beyond the Bedroom: Healing for Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Doug Weiss, PhD
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick J. Carnes, PhD
Lovemaps: Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transposition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity by John Money
Books, Resources on Compulsive Sexual Avoidance, Social/Sexual Anorexia
Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred by Patrick Carnes, PhD
What is Intimacy and Sexual Avoidance? https://saa-recovery.org/diversity/isa/
Recovery from Compulsive Sexual Avoidance: A Return to Intimacy: https://saa-recovery.org/literature/recovery-from-compulsive-sexual-avoidance-a-return-to-intimacy/
Anorexia: Sexual, Social, Emotional: SLAA Women’s Phone Meeting Group - https://www.slaawomensgroup.org/newcomers/anorexia/
Ashes to Beauty a Woman's Journey of Hope Through the Wildfires of Sexual Anorexia (Workbook) by Kerry Schortzman
Intimacy Anorexia & Intimacy Anorexia, The Workbook: Healing the Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage by Douglas Weiss
Screening Tests for Love Addiction
SLAA 40 questions
https://slaafws.org/download/core-files/The_40_Questions_of_SLAA.pdf
Self-Assess via this article:
Is it Love or Is It Addiction: 30 Differences
Screening Test for Sex Addiction
Sexual Addiction Screening Test for Women (SAST - W)
http://debrakaplancounseling.com/wp-content/assets/sast-women.pdf
Standard Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST)
https://www.recoveryzone.com/tests/sex-addiction/SAST/index.php
Screening Tests for Porn/Cybersex/Sex Addiction in Women
Am I Addicted to Porn? A 20 Question Self-Help Test for Women
http://www.stacisprout.com/am-i-addicted-to-porn-a-20-question-selfhelp-test-for-women/
Sex Assessment http://www.christinabell.net/downloads/ (scroll down to “Sex Addiction Recovery Kit”)
Internet Sex Screening Test: https://www.recoveryzone.com/tests/sex-addiction/ISST/index.php
Screening Tests for Sexual Anorexia, Social & Sexual Avoidance
Am I (Sexually or Relationship) Anorexic? 50 Questions https://slaafws.org/download/CACAmIAnorexic_%2050Questions.pdf
Sexual Anorexia Diagnostic Criteria http://www.christinabell.net/downloads/ (scroll down to “Pornography Assessment” and click; scroll down for “Sexual Anorexia Diagnostic Criteria”
Special Programs, Approaches and Resources - Online resources
By women, for women, or featuring women:
This website, where this list is kept and frequently updated. Includes a blog, educational videos, recorded meditations, links to articles, and a resource list for women seeking 12-Step program info, Inpatient treatment, and Intensives designed especially for women.
23 Videos on YouTube Channel about sex, love, and relationship recovery, hosted by Staci Sprout and featuring many interviews with women in successful recovery, including “Female Faces of Sex Addiction Recovery,” “Naked in Public” (about the book and the vulnerability of recovery), an interview with Lacy Alajna Bentley, and interview with Katy Moore, an interview with Marnie Ferree, and a TV interview on female sex and love addiction.
Ready to Heal FREE Study Guide
Kelly McDaniel provides further explanation of the topics covered in Ready to Heal. Expanded description of the Four Cultural Beliefs, Mother Hunger, and Female Friendships are included. Additionally, guided questions for thought and tools for recovery are provided.
Love Addiction Recovery Kit, Parts 1 & 2, Sex Addiction Recovery Kit, and More Free Resources
Christina Bell’s website offers multiple downloads and resources for anyone to use, including boundaries, mindfulness meditation, emotional regulation, pornography assessment, sexual betrayal and recovery, breakup recovery and more.
“Ready to Heal” Online Class for Women at Center for Healthy Sex
At Center for Healthy Sex, we offer an Online Love Addiction Class for women who struggle with Love Addiction and Addictive Relationships. The Ready to Heal Online Love Addiction Class is available now for your privacy and convenience from the comfort of your own home. Get the help you need now and break free from addictive relationships! Call (310) 843-9902 to register.
Worth Recovery is an organization dedicated to dispelling shame and building hope in the lives of women recovering from sex addiction. Amy shares the experiences of women in recovery to help you build hope & recovery! Podcast, Events, Education!
Worth Recovery Podcast: Great podcasts about women and sexual recovery https://worthrecovery.podbean.com/
Jace Downey, recovering sex addict and documentary filmmaker – great links and projects
You Tube series of 72 videos of Jace discussing her progress with sex addiction recovery, popular culture, and the struggles and triumphs of her journey. https://www.youtube.com/user/JaceDowney/videos.
Created by therapist Shena Tubbs, CSAT, the “Love Junkie” podcast is dedicated for those struggle with love and sex addiction, addictive relationships, codependency, trauma and the feel the “normal” relationship advice just doesn’t truly apply to them.
Porn Problems: Here Come the Women
Fantastic resource page from YourBrainOnPorn.com for women, listing research, articles, testimonials and comments from women struggling with sex and porn addiction.
Lacy Bentley, Professional Certified Life Coach and Recovery Mentor, BS, Psychology
Lacy has been mentoring women in overcoming compulsive behaviors and obsessive thought patterns since 2000. She stared working with women in eating disorder recovery, and now also works with women seeking to overcome relationship and sexually compulsive behaviors. A passionate guest blogger and dedicated Professional Recovery Coach, Lace takes addiction recovery seriously. She brings gentle, but no-nonsense accountability, compassionate mentorship, and her own solid recovery habits to the table. She trains recovery coaches in "Real Love Recovery" and offers the e-book "Overcoming Love Addiction" via her website.
Free downloadable resources for recovery in various areas, including mindfulness, self-compassion, emotional regulation, love/sex/porn addiction, break-up recovery, anxiety, couples, and more!
Information, blogs, podcasts and videos about sex and relationship healing, featuring women and men, by Rob Weiss, MSW, CSAT-S. Sign up for daily inspiration available.
The Grace Spot exists to educate all people on the reality of female pornography use and to break the stigma that only men struggle with this issue.
They strive to equip women to break free from shame and to find lasting freedom from pornography and other sexual addictions, and offer a safe place to seek healing and restore intimacy, confidence and self-love. It is a platform to share stories and open a vulnerable conversation about sex.
For more Christian-oriented resources for teens and women struggling with porn, check out this extensive resource list from covenant eyes:
http://www.covenanteyes.com/2014/06/30/resources-women-struggle-porn/
Forest Benedict, LMHC, SATP - author of Life After Lust
Online therapy and coaching program for women: “Guiding female sex, love, and pornography addicts through the recovery process has been an incredibly meaningful experience for me throughout the years. As a male therapist, I count it a privilege to help females rebuild their lives, as they learn how to decrease compulsive coping, stop objectifying themselves, increase trust with others, and discover their worth.“ —Forest Benedict, LMHC, SATP
More Books and Resources on Recovery-Related Issues and Approaches
A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps by Stephanie S. Covington, PhD
A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps: The Classic Guide for All People in the Process of Recovery by Patrick Carnes, PhD
The Steps We Took by Joe McQ
Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal by Belleruth Naparstek
Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD) Bundle, guided visualizations by Belleruth Naparstek, https://www.healthjourneys.com/posttraumatic-stress-bundle
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
Trauma Sensitive Yoga - Fierce Medicine: Breakthrough Practices to Heal the Body and Ignite the Spirit by Ana T. Forrest
Trauma Into Truth: Gutsy Healing and Why It’s Worth It by Rythea Lee
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD
Woman’s Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life by Jennifer Louden
Black Girls Heal Coloring Book: Mindfulness & Coloring Activity Book by Shena Tubbs, illustrated by Lauren Sevilla
The Power of Vulnerability (audio), Daring Greatly, I Thought It Was Just Me, more by Brené Brown
The Daring Way, Brené Brown, https://thedaringway.org/
Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw
Program of Certification for Shame Healing
Stephen Porges - Polyvagal Theory and Window of Tolerance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivLEAlhBHPM
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
DBT Skills Training Manual [2nd Ed] by Marsha M. Linehan
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & Distress Tolerance by Matthew McKay and Jeffrey C. Wood
Radically Open DBT (RO DBT) for disorders of excessive self-control/over-control of emotion
International Transgender Certification Association
http://www.transgendercertification.org/
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find -- And Keep -- Love by Amir Levine, MD and Rachel S.F. Heller, MA
Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine
Boundaries Updated: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps 6 & 7 by Bill P.
Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children by Jean Illsley Clarkey
Amends, Apologies & the Myths of Forgiveness: A Guide to the Eighth and Ninth Steps by Stephen C. (SLAA-focus)
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff, PhD
The Book of Forgiving: A Four-Fold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu
How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove, PhD, Harold H. Bloomfield, PhD, & Peter McWilliams
Women's Development, Culture, Oppression, Healing
In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development by Carol Gilligan
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith L. Herman, MD
Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt by Peg Streep
Daughter Detox: Recovering from An Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life by Peg Streep
Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher and Ruth Ross
Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss [20th Ann Ed] by Hope Edelman
American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers by Nancy Jo Sales
Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape by Peggy Orenstein
Our Bodies, Ourselves: A Book by and for Women by Boston Women’s Health Book Collective
The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women by Naomi Wolf
Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality by Gail Dines
Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy
Mean Girls, Meaner Women: Understanding Why Women Backstab, Betray and Trash-Talk Each Other and How to Heal by Dr. Erika Holiday and Dr. Joan Rosenberg
Mean Girls Grow Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid to Bees by Cheryl Dellasega, PhD
Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti
The Wheel of Consent https://bettymartin.org/videos/
Sex Rules! Astonishing Sexual Practices and Gender Roles Around the World by Janice Z. Brodman
The Meaning of Difference: American Constructions of Race and Ethnicity, Sex and Gender, Social Class, Sexuality and Disability by Karen E. Rosenblum and Toni-Michelle C. Travis
Black Sexual Politics: African-Americans, Gender, and the New Racism by Patricia Hill Collins
Personal Village: How to Have People in Your Life by Choice, Not Chance, and Personal Village Workbook: Six Steps to Build your Personal Community by Marvin Thomas, MSW
Love and Sex: Cross Cultural Perspectives by Elaine Hatfield and Richard L. Rapson
Healing Relationships After Betrayal
Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass
The Emotional Affair: How to Recognize Emotional Infidelity and What to Do About It by Ronald Potter-Efron MSW PhD and Patricia Potter-Efron MS
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancrof
The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern
Heartbreak, Abandonment and Betrayal - Guided Imagery CD or MP3 by Belleruth Naparstek
The Couple's Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal by Drs. Bill and Ginger Bercaw
Open Hearts: Renewing Relationships with Recovery, Romance & Reality by Patrick Carnes, Debra Laaser & Mark Laaser
Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child by Laura Davis
The Couple’s Comfort Book: A Creative Guide for Renewing Passion, Pleasure & Commitment by Jennifer Louden
Healthy Dating, Sexuality
Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life That You Love by David Steele
If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kasl
Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies by Wendy Maltz
Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction by Alexandra Katehakis
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, PhD
The Five Love Languages: Singles/Couples Editions: The Secret To Love That Lasts/That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships by Gary Chapman
The Heart and Soul of Sex: Making the ISIS Connection by Gina Ogden
Women Who Love Sex: Ordinary Women Describe Their Paths to Pleasure, Intimacy, and Ecstasy by Gina Ogden
Aphrodite's Daughters: Women's Sexual Stories and the Journey of the Soul by Jalaja Bonheim
Intimate Kisses: The Poetry of Sexual Pleasure by Wendy Maltz, Thomas Moore
Femalia - a book of images of the beautiful variety of women's vulvas by Joani Blank
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Live by Emily Nagoski, PhD
Awakening Your Sexuality: A Guide for Recovering Women by Stephanie S. Covington, PhD
Raising Sexually Healthy Children
The Secret Lives of Teen Girls: What Your Mother Wouldn't Talk about But Your Daughter Needs to Know by Evelyn Resh
Venus in Blue Jeans: Why Mothers & Daughters Need to Talk About Sex by Nathalie Bartle, EdD with Susan Lieberman, PhD
For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health by Al Vernacchio
The New Age of Sex Education: How to Talk to Your Teen About Cybersex and Pornography in the Digital Age by Jennifer Weeks, PhD
Not for Kids!: Protecting Kids Online Kindle Edition by Liz Walker
Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen A. Jensen, MA and Dr. Poyner
Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, Jr. Version: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds by Kristen A. Jensen, MA
Daddy’s Secret Cedar Chest by Geoff Goodman, PhD
Beyond the Big Talk: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Teens - From Middle School to High School and Beyond by Debra W. Hafner and Alyssa Haffner Tartaglione
From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children - From Infancy to Middle School by Debra W. Haffner
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris
It's So Amazing: A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies and Families by Robie H. Harris
The Rest of the Way: Healing Barriers Between Gays, Lesbians, and Their Parents by Enid Duchin Jackowitz
Memoirs and Story Collections of Women and Trans FTM
Insatiable: A Memoir of Love Addiction – Shary Hauer
Dirty Girls Come Clean --Crystal Renaud
Girl Walks Out of a Bar: A Memoir – Lisa F. Smith
Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs – Ethlie Ann Vare
Coming Off Love – Bridgit Newman
Love Junkie: A Memoir – Rachel Resnick
Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction – Erica Garza
Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex Addiction – Sue William Silverman
Fast Girl: A Life Spent Running From Madness – Suzy Favor Hamilton
Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity – Kerry Cohen
Beggar's Daughter -- Jessica Harris
Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life by Ryan K. Sallans
Last update 10/16/18